It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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