I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
