I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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