I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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