oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
