Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
