Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
