no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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