Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
