You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
