does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
