She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
