i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
