I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
