I heard we made out
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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