we have pet lesbian snakes
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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