Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
