just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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