Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
