so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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