I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
