coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
