The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
