so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
