I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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