Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
