I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
