im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
