the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
