So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
