I'm lost and stupid without you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
