I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
