dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
