I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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