I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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