God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
