If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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