I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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