I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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