I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
