I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
