the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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