If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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