I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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