i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
