I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
