Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
