kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
