if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just tell him i said nine months
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
