I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
