Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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