he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
