I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
