Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
