My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
