I feel like abortions should bother me more
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
