Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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