He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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